A few months after I was first engaged to be married, I suddenly discovered that I wasn't just planning my dream wedding...I was also going through a very intense rite of passage. I experienced many different emotions and changes in my way of thinking that I never expected. It was a bit of a shock to my system as no one had warned me about any of it. Over the course of my life, when the women around me talked about getting married, all they ever discussed was the fun part: the flowers, trying on dresses and cake sampling...and oh, the honeymoon!